the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
