Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
