ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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