do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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