Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
People with herpes should wear stickers.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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