dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
