Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
that is very illegal...i love you.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
