I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
