Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize