Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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