Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
