I never want to see another naked old woman again.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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