I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Boobs speak an international language.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
