i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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