i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
