Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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