is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
