I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
