he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
