tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
He is an equal opportunity slut.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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