Michael Bay diarrhea
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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