I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
