Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I wish there were birth control emojis
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
