anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You did what with his pubic hair?
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