Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
not ubering you a puppy
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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