i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
