So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
