Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
