I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
