In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
