What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
