you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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