We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize