You just made me feel so damn special
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I wish you could order shots online.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Randomize