Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
