She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
