Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
