I'm jealous of your bromance
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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