Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
