Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
