you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
