Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
