Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
