When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize