i permit you to call me
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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