everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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