batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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