Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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