Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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