Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
How does it feel to date your dad?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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