You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
