You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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