Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Someone came in the potted fern
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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