what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
