This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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