i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize