Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
