What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
