Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
