in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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