He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
