so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
