just come out here and I will go home with you...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
