so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
