I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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