I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
