the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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