I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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