it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
