you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
