matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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