So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
