R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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